And when your mind plays tricks...(Part1/3)

Part 1

Last few days had been tough for Arjun. The reason was not the new Chemistry tuition he was having a difficult time at, or the assignments at school; neither the impending CBSE 12th standard exams which were just 7 months away nor the numerous competitive exams that followed them. He had handled stress related to academics earlier; no, that was not it. The reason was something he never had experienced earlier. It was a trick. A dangerous, ugly and dirty trick his mind was playing on him.

It was only last week when he had first experienced it. He was studying for a class test at school the next week in his room, when he felt the need of going out to the balcony to take a breath of fresh air. There was a big mass of stone in the balcony, used as a support for the door, and Arjun noticed his pet kitty right below where he stood. All of a sudden, he felt this sudden urge to crush the cat by dropping the boulder near his feet on it. Of how all of a sudden he got this bizarrely sinister impulse, he had absolutely no idea! It was just as if someone had banged an iron rod hard on his head, and made him devoid of the ability to think for a few seconds. As soon as he came back to his senses in sometime, he dashed inside, locked the balcony door, and rushed downstairs to hug his pet, not daring to spare a thought for what prompted the action.
At dinner time, the same day, Arjun thought what had happened was just a scare; perhaps he was tired with the previous night's lack of sleep, or perhaps he had just been hallucinating in the evening. He changed into his night robes and went upstairs to his bed. On the way, he knocked at his sister's room, to bid her goodnight. She didn't answer, and when Arjun entered her room, he found her fast asleep. He turned back to head out of the room, as he would normally do seeing his sister asleep, but stopped midway. He abruptly thought of how defenceless she was, deep in slumber. "What if someone came in and tried to hurt her? Worse, say, murder her? Would I be able to hear her screams from the adjoining room? Why doesn't she lock her room before sleeping? Do I wake her up and ask her to do the same now?" These thoughts echoed around in Arjun's mind. He couldn't understand what was happening. He knew their house was perfectly safe and well guarded, and that it was not uncommon of his sister to sleep with the door unlocked. Why did he feel this way today? Was he still reeling under the continued effect of the impulses he felt in the evening? Arjun knew he desparately wanted some sleep. Something was amiss, and he didn't know what. He then didn't waste a single second in climbing onto his bed, and that was where the strange day ended for him.
"Arjun! Breakfast is ready, get up now. You have to receive your dad at the station at 10, remember?", Mrs Seth screamed for the umpteenth time from downstairs. Arjun finally woke up and yawned. Sundays were the best. Even in 12th standard. He had loads to study but before that he had to receive daddy from the railway station. Mr. Seth had been away on an official trip for a week, and was returning that day. Arjun completed his daily chores, had breakfast and took off to the station on his Honda Activa. He had almost forgotten the strange thoughts that were bothering him the previous day, but remembered them just as he was about to leave, when he saw his sister coming downstairs for breakfast. He shrugged it off rather easily, the broad daylight making the events of the day before seem miles behind him.
Finally, the announcement was made for Rajdhani Express. It was an hour late, and was arriving on platform  number 4. Arjun made his way towards the platform, and as was his habit, peeped at the incoming train, which was pretty far away and was slowly chugging along, from the edge of the platform. However, quite unanticipatedly, the erratic thoughts he had been having the previous day returned to haunt him. "What if I fall down onto the tracks and get stuck? What if no one tries to help me? Would I die if I were run over by the train? What if I manage to survive but lose a hand?" The train which till a few moments ago seemed like leisurely making its way towards the platform now seemed to scream with pace, and he felt a sudden impulse to jump onto the tracks. Shaken, and scared out of his wits, Arjun dashed off in the direction opposite to the railway tracks, his whole body shivering. He didn't even bother looking in the direction of the train till he was sure it marched past him, and could no more mow him down, now that he couldn't fall onto the tracks anymore.
By then, Arjun was sure that he had lost it. Something terrible was happening to him. Why these dark thoughts? What was going on in his head? Why, he had never had impulses like these ever before. Was he turning mad? "Arjun! Where on earth have you been? I was searching all over the platform for you! And what happened son? Why do you look pale? You alright?", Mr Seth exclaimed, finally finding Arjun. Arjun quietly took hold of his dad's bag, and meekly murmuring a few niceties, led his dad out of the station. He knew something was terribly, terribly wrong with him, and unfortunately, he knew not what.

This post is the first of 3 parts, and is based on OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I dedicate this entire piece of write up to a very cute dolphin I know, and adore! :)